Saturday, July 29, 2006

Him

So. I thought maybe it was time to limn that fine man of mine a bit. I don't know what to say to begin. Think of that smile, perhaps. It is never far away. He is one of those people that can retain a sense of humor in any situation. He soothes my always over-anxious mind with his calm demeanor. And I wonder at where it comes from.

He has seen...a lot of places and things that most men do not - or at least had not for a generation. I think it gives him a perspective that others haven't acquired. Nothing could be as bad as those long nights in another country. I often wish I could have that sort of discernment - the ability to know what in life is pure bullshit to be ignored and tossed aside.

I know he is very skilled at what he does. I trust that his sensibility will keep him alive in a job and a place where there will be many who prefer otherwise. But a part of me can never leave off the worrying - the wondering if he'll lose his edge for a moment and I'll lose all.

He cares deeply for his family but not as much for his father. The man ensured that through his own actions, selfishly holding to what he wanted rather than being the selfless parent he ought to have been. To this day the man cannot congratulate him, cannot offer his best wishes. Instead, he looks to his own parents, debilitated, and frets for having to care for them himself. Poor creature.

No...there is no easy way to describe him at all. He is a highwayman and a knight, a soldier and an angel, and he can be a boy sometimes, needing someone to say Good Job. As we all do...as we all do. Good Job, my own. You saved me from myself.

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