Saturday, April 28, 2007

Too Damned Late

Yup, it's too late to be on this thing, typing away, but my mind is still rattling around after about 3 hrs of OT to get caught up on email at the office. I've been swamped lately and so behind that it was OT or bust. And I've got all the bust I need. Ha Ha...ha...heh...ahem. Yeah. Okay.

So I had my annual the other day and I entered the new doc's office with some trepidation but put on my game face, handed over the surgical notes from the old doc, and we commenced to "experience" each other. I had foolish worries of something awry again but he assured me that all looked well and that the "hormones are still working fine". I did not even want to know how he can tell whilst...there.

But he noted immediately the other situation at hand and offered up commentary on his exam notes and a referral to a plastic surgeon which I am sorely tempted to consider. Yup, ye olde boob job. The much less fun deflating kind. Oh, how I wish it was...better. The procedures are STILL barbaric. Oh, they can slip a fun bag in with hardly a scar to be seen. I get nipples removed and sewn back on with the half-hearted hope they'll stay there. BARBARIC, I tell you!

I've done enough research to know the odds and the truth of it but even with all the downside...can I tell you how lovely it would be to just be free of the 30 extra lbs of flesh? Oh, yes - nearly that much. Imagine a toddler hanging in a baby pouch off your shoulders each and every day. The thought of being able to just shop normally, buy bras for under $75 each, and to tie my shoes without having to do it off-center...

And there is the numbness, too...My hands are often without sensation. I don't sleep well because I have to move a lot to keep the blood moving. I believe that the weight has inpinged the blood flow in the thoracic area more than ever before. I'd always had troubles but now it is quite pronounced. So...

Am I brave enough to do it? Can I heal well at this age? Will the Frankenstein Boobs be worth it? I want to be the Bionic Woman. "We can build her better than before." I just don't know.

And the new house? My God, what that man is going through...we've both been nervous as long tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs. My nerves feel as though they've been scrubbed with a wire brush. I am trying to be patient and good to him whilst also being insanely irritated with the whole process. I've not been doing a very good job of it, snapping and being overly touchy. It ought to have ended today but they decided to make the misery last through Monday afternoon. Madness.

Tomorrow we'll look at paint chips and I'll start researching the whole concept of decorative paint (sure, I want each room a different shade that a good idea?) and I'll measure the master bath window so that we can cover it immediately upon move-in. LOL Priorities, people! Oh, and the shower thingy - I simply must have a wooden slatted base to stand on. The drain is in the center of the floor and I cannot BEAR to have my feet touch a drain. It is a thing - an issue - I have. LOL But we've found a lovely Japanese something to make it just right.

So many things I saw that I meant to link you to but then today my pal sent me a link to her badly neglected site and, specifically, the worst day at work that anyone could have. Oh, you think you've got it topped but you really haven't. I think this link will work. Jules is my sweetest pal. She is a perpetual joy, a tremendous wit and so...her spirit hasn't been tainted by the malaise of life yet. LOL And her son is a gift from the Sidhe. Oh, he is Other, alright. Anyway, that right there takes the prize, period.

Now, then. I think I've gotten just about everything off my - er - chest for the evening. I can sleep a bit until the trooper gets home. I hope we have a good day tomorrow. We both could use one...


shoe said...

yikes, trooper gal.

i loved your recount. my girlfriends and i have a little contest over the most disgusting things that obgyn's say under examination. i think "any dryness?" still currently holds the top position, but "the hormones are working" from that viewpoint is a very close second!

good luck! it may be barbaric, but i bet a reduction would probably make you feel better and look a lot younger. how does your hubby feel?

LauraB said...

The Trooper is fine with it - he has supported the concept all along. Thank goodness. Because they will not be pretty for many months.

You cracked me up with the dryness comment. Jeez! Now THAT takes the cake.