Well, it's a tad late and my mind is in a strange humor because he's on night shift again and I am...alone. Say that like Joan Crawford - "Ah-looohnnn-nah!" But I have some yummy endorphins rolling from the earlier workout and some yummy belly happiness from dinner so I am in no way ready for bed.
He was sent off with a nice Thermos of fresh coffee and the leftover cup beckons but I must resist the siren call. I am a coffee fiend. It has to be good stuff, though, or I'll take a cup of tea instead. We spend rather a lot on beans, I have to admit. We go through a pound in about 10 days. Maybe less. It is our bad habit.
I was thinking earlier about the things that I enjoy in life and that which I can do without. See, I was a horrid, moody bitch Sunday and I have since been trying to figure out just what I need to do about that. Mentally, I mean. Because one can either wallow in it and continue or find a way out and be a decent person to live with. So I've been trying to think of things in a Pro/Con way. I am a really black and white sort of person in many ways - not a lot of grey areas for me. LOL So I've been mulling over those things that are pleasing and not.
I like finding the bathroom empty at work when I have business to attend to.
I hate people who don't wash their hands after, though.
I love the scent of perfectly ripened fruit.
But I hate to find that it only smelled good and is actually mealy inside.
I love an empty sink.
And I sure as hell hate to wash the damned dishes.
Anyway, it's been that sort of thing...I don't want to go around like some moody brat. It's silly and wastes precious time. Because there isn't that much of it left, you know. I mean, many of you have nice families and kids so for you, there is a sort of continuation of life. But for me - us - we're it. End o' the line. When it's over, it's over and done. So time moves differently, I think.
I'd like to believe I can leave behind something but the fact is that you can walk past an entire cemetery and not know a single name there nor anything they did. Few of us are that special. And I am trying to find a way, I guess, of making that okay. It's okay to be obscure and small. Then I think of the people now gone and what they left in me - I guess ones impact on others can resound through time even when you are gone and perhaps in that is our...immortality.
See, told ya it was a mishmash. My brain of late has been - well, failing me, I'd guess. I chalk it up to age but I am getting a bit more forgetful than I like. So I am trying to be careful - ducks in a row sort of thing. Too scattered and too unreliable. I need to exercise it more - and not just by reading blogs. LOL As literate as you all are, I think I need to wrap my mind around something meaty. Exercise the SOB.
OMG. And did I mention the little local HOA meeting recently? Oh yes...Miss Queen Bee was not at all happy to meet me since I actually had substantive queries as to why we hadn't heard from them since we moved in, why that evening's event wasn't very productive, what the future plans were...she thought we'd be scared to sign our names for roles. Sweety, I know Robert's Rules of Order and I know what a quorum is and I know how to run a show - so if you cannot make it happen, you and your hand wringing Gollum cohort can stand aside and I'll do it from the shadows. I don't need the title. I just need some damned action. LOL Oh, yes. Her colitis was acting up after that little meeting. Beotch.
OK - so that's it. Now...time to set up the coffee for the morning and clean the cat box. Ugh. Fracking bastages. If they had opposable thumbs, I'd make them do it. We have got to toilet train them.