Friday, October 31, 2008

Sweep It Away

This image is from a favorite book, The Widow's Broom. All the illustrations are insanely wonderful but this is so evocative of the evening.

It is as one imagines all witches might be - ever youthful though not immature, arch without being menacing, and always with a longing - a far away stare. And the wind...the constant companion.

Oh, for the crunch of real autumnal leaves, for the snap of frost on a window. And the smell of smoke drifting while the slender fingernail moon rocks in the dark sky. It's out there, somewhere. And if it's with you, blow it all a kiss.
For me.

In The Spirit

A great thanks is owed to Joan this morning for a tale that has finally worked free a bit of holiday spirit in me. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, being a fan of costume and darkness.

But this year I simply couldn't muster up a bit of care for it. The boxes still stacked away, the plastic pumpkins and strands of orange lights not making an appearance. Too tired, too busy and simply not in the mood. Too somber, really, to be frivolous.

Which is such a complete departure for me that I am seriously wondering Why.

So I'll get the candy from the store and don something that will be in the spirit of the thing, something to please the children. And remember dimly those holidays of the past with the cardboard cutouts of quartermoon gliding witches and hump backed black cats.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Long Days

Here I am, caring for a little office work while Trooper finishes his shift. Yes, it's Saturday. What can I say? I have a lot going on...

The good news? Looks like my one boss is ditching the PIMA APAC job. WOOT!!! How I hate dealing with them! First, there's the whole time zone issue and then there is the whole spoiled brat issue since they are used to having one person do only their stuff. PFFT. I have 5 bosses, folks. Take a number.

The bad news? He is needed for more pressing items. Like...what is the company going to do in light of int'l finance issues? Oh, I don't worry for MY job, no. I am fortunate in that regard. And we're top heavy.'s complicated. If you don't work in a very -er - VERY large company you have no idea how the spokes from the hub impact so many other things. I guess it's more web-like, really, where a trembling in one part resonates in another. Suffice to say I shall remain busy for quite some time.

Anyway, yesterday was a real craptacular day...Trooper was on-call and exhausted after doing a 15 hr "part-time" on a movie set here in town, on his feet all day. (If you have the book An Anthropologist On Mars by Oliver Sacks, the story is in there - the last one - about the lady who developed a cattle pen and processing concept, Temple Grandin. EXCELLENT book, BTW.) So he went to bed wiped out.

The phone rang just before 5a. I heard it, heard his silencing the noise, and heard his settling back down in bed. And then his rapid snatching of the cell and recovering the number and message. You could almost hear his thoughts, "Phone, on call, dispatch...". Turns out it was an ejection, possible fatality wreck and not too far from the house. I rose and started the coffee that was still 30 minutes away from brewing. Stumbling about, I let the dog out, and fed the cats who thought it wonderful I was awake on time for a change.

Trooper forced sleep away with a quick dousing of his face and brush of the flattop. At least the coffee was mostly done before he left. He dressed quickly but not too quickly, not wanting to forget anything. Process ensures preparedness. And then, he was gone into the quite chill air of dark, dark pre-dawn.

It was a sad scene, really. A youth with freshly printed license who decided to drive with an older relative after drinking. The driver, of course, was fine. The relative did not survive the trip. Unfortunately, word drew out the relatives long before victim services arrived. Notification on-scene is unpleasant but sometimes necessary. After they left, it was time to paint the scene. Still dark, he did what he could, flagging points in the grass, taking photos. Later, he would return with his associate and add more paint (with the new irksome method of coding each wheel with dots, dashes, whatever concept you wish to apply and a sort of "key" at the start of each wheel's departure into mayhem).

So it was 5a-6p, most of it dealing with forms, teletypes, warrants and the like. He came in, apologizing for his attitude during the day. As usual, we went to the bedroom after he put the uniform aside, laying there and just talking about the day, petting the dog. I don't mind the topic, the details, the review. Not at all. And it decompresses him so that he can breathe easy and just be "off duty". And, as usual, I left him to rest - the 30 or 60 minutes being all he needs to come back fresh.

A new blogger - new on this topic anyway - has commented here and has the same inquiry on her post about ride-alongs. Sometimes I wish I could spend more hours with him and it'd be nice, yes. But it is so different here. They transport their own arrests - in the front seat. He would never want me exposed to that. Nor would he need the distraction. Too, we can be a few miles from home or be called over 30 miles away to the other side of the county. And if it's a fatality? You have about 3 hours of misc crap to do. So...I just watch the DVDs and it's enough.

I don't really mind the being apart as much in the day - admittedly, that evening shift is harder. But even's nice to have that separation. Besides, he is in Trooper mode, not fun husband mode. Nope, he's ALL business. Perhaps it is because I am older. Heck, I dunno. It sure makes the time you DO have together more valuable.

So...that's about it. That's how it has been lately...his telling me to stay off the damned office email at night and me calling to see how much longer he's going to be. LOL But tonight it's dinner with friends and their baby. I LOVE babies when they are only around a few hours. It may be the last peace we have since his Sgt is headed out of town for a month and Trooper is In Charge. Mmm, mmm...

Interestingly...a local PD stopped by the house the other night. Seems the Chief is "retiring". Asked Trooper if he'd be interested. My eyebrow went up. Indeed? Well, now...let's just get this whole Trooper thing finished, shall we? But I could see he was flattered, knew how he'd run that show. And I will "cop" to feeling a surge of pride in my bosom. That's my man. Hell, yeah.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Wherein I Am Horrid

It was a lovely Sunday. Woke not too early and departed for the local Ren Fest. The day started innocently enough...Ded Bob, some rockin' bagpipes and drums...but we all needed a little something. I bragged on the glory that is mead.

I can say little more about that day. The photo was at the end wherein my husband kindly captured the final bit of debauchery. (The indelicate hand belongs to a relative - it is not mine. I am merely pointing to it - her debauchery, I mean. Ahem.)

He was short, yes. But the spirit of the game, one might say.

Trooper was loving it, of course. All day mocking the two women folk who were lost in their mead. At one point I was so off my game as to be mocked by a wandering Pretzel Vendor. A minor one at that! True, he rattled off the types of wares he had too fast and I laughingly asked him to slow down. "Sallllttteeeyyyy, Parrrrmmmmeeeesahhhhnnnn..."

The little whelp! I had to take out my hanky, hide my face, and wail, "I am so ashamed!" as I laughed til I cried. Shortly after, ignoring the joust, I whispered to my brother, "Shh! She'sh drunk!" He nearly went down the hill on that one. Which only then brought on a battle of the witless, "We burn. Fiery pitsth of hewl. Flamesth."

Dear me, I've no idea what we were doing but I was having a blast. I haven't had that much to drink since I wasn't legal to drink. But I was, at least, a polite drunk. We managed to wend our way through the fare with very little instigation. Still, I didn't want to be the predictable "drunk lady at the fair". It is almost as bad as the "too much boob for the outfit" gal.

No worries. There is little photographic evidence of ME. Trooper, however, was assaulted by some wenches and brought on stage and of that there is ample evidence. Of course, his LT was there. He was assaulted, too, but only briefly.

A wonderful bit of fun followed by a very rough day at work. Still, Stubby the Barbarian makes me smile. As does this new finding. If it doesn't work, well, tough. I'm hungover.

You can figure it out. You're all far smarter than I after all. (Or is that than me? Sigh...)

Off with ye...

Friday, October 17, 2008

Circling Vultures and Pleasanter Things

Oh, I do love how the world is waking only now to all those things that so many of us have been saying all along. Ohio? "Nothing to see here. Move along!" Nationalizing banks? "We've got to keep our phoney baloney jobs, men!" But this...oh, this is rich, indeed.

API and Michelle Obama's Call To Order

First, Chief Editor Korir's family ought to check on the life insurance because his life will be cheap, indeed, to those he is fighting. And I hope he has those tapes very carefully secured. A Swiss bank lockbox won't suffice. Finally, it brings on the very question ignored from the start - is the man even legally permitted to apply for the job?

Oh, rich - RICH - this drama, this denouement.

And so, we prepare in this home. Crossfit is our current focus in order to be ready for whatever may come. He speaks in tongues upstairs, the weights crashing and sweat flying. It truly makes a mere 20 minutes worth 60.

It's his 4-day with no obligations outside of fun until Monday when he'll work for a tidy sum to protect some HBO "talent" as they film in our small town. (I'm thinking of walking Ranger nearby and see if he is "discovered".) So maybe tomorrow we ought to go shooting. I think I'm recovered enough for at least the handguns and maybe a few test rounds through my new baby...

As everything seems to spiral around me, roadkill eyes reflecting the dark wings above, I turn to things that bring an ease to the soul. One of those things is drums. I don't know why but the intensity herein thrills me. Always has. Primal, strong, stirring, and full of integrity...the video is shakey but not needed anyway. Just listen and sharpen something. (Lift of the kilt to the kind soul in Rachel Lucas' comments for the referral...)

Just in time for Sunday's trip to Plantersville...shall I dress for it? I don't know. I usually do but then I also used to go alone. It is Fantasy weekend, after all...and I need that escape just now.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Sometimes You Just Have To Say WTF

Well, now...not entirely my idea of a great time but...I have to admit it looked like fun.

Hey, Billy - a taildragger, he says? All y'all are nuts, it would appear.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Capitalism and Fatalism Mate

Ah, sweet sweet I love it when you send such things to me. And always with such a poignant sense of timing...

Behold, the ennui...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Eye Candy

I suppose the following could be considered inappropriate by many but I think it a kind of artistry. Back in the day, I was treated to such things now and again and it was great fun. Mind you, they were the finer establishments...

This is lovely.

As was this though she got extra points for the socklets - technique different and yet still quite apart from the usual. Admittedly, it looked a bit more like practice than "live", lacking that fire...

I'd forgotten all the words left behind until this evening when I mused over the above and remembered. My God, it was good.
At lunch, with my eyes glittering hard and my words offering no retreat, he
asked me "Is this really you? Are you always like this?" "No," I thought. "Not
always. We are, occasionally, worse."

Nigh unto 20 years ago...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Luddite In Disguise

I am just about sick of this new cell phone - generally, because it's a Blackberry wannabe (Palm Centro) that ain't cuttin' it. Yay! I can't wear earrings and talk on it because it activates the touchscreen and does funky crap.

Yay! It goes dark immediately after showing me some screen that appears to need me to select something.

Yay! It rebooted itself yesterday and lost EVERYTHING I had in there - including my purchased ringtones you lousy SOB that I likely will have to pay for again except I'll find some way around it, by God. I OWN the music - there has to be a way to put it on there.

Anyway, I think this one is going back to the store before I load another single thing on there. And can I just say how much I hate having something new like that with too many things to learn? I loved my old phone - basic, simple, use it, hang up...

If you know me, you know that I am not - like most other women - a talker. I never call anyone, really. I see women just jabbering away on the damned things and cannot comprehend. There is no one I want to talk to so much for so long that I'll use a clumsy hand numbing implement to do so. Too, I am better at email. So, yeah - if you think my not calling you is a slight, do not!

I simply communicate better in writing and in person. On the phone, I am distracted, unable to think of what I'd like to say, wishing you'd just spit it out so we could plan to meet for dinner and have a nice, long chat then. Or, you can be like my stepdaughter and do all the talking - that's okay, too! I don't mind that.

I suppose I ought to just embrace the technology...I used to be a happy adopter of new gear. I'm getting old, damn it.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Corporal Alvin C. York, MOH

I had no idea! And I really liked the guy...thx, Bayou Ren Man for the superb post!

"After his platoon had suffered heavy casualties and 3 other noncommissioned officers had become casualties, Cpl. York assumed command. Fearlessly leading 7 men, he charged with great daring a machinegun nest which was pouring deadly and incessant fire upon his platoon. In this heroic feat the machinegun nest was taken, together with 4 officers and 128 men and several guns."
I think it's time to add that little tidbit to my calendar so we can manage an annual viewing of the movie and tip of the uisge bottle.

It Came To Me... to speak...that the only thing the Oompalunatics aren't promising is everyone will get oral sex every Friday night.

(Yeah, it was funnier using "blowjob" but I didn't want to leave out the women/womyn folk.)

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

A Man I'd Like to Meet

His name is Alfonzo Rachel. You guys know me and my feelings about politics. What I love about this guy is his sincerity and frankness. And that his being "of color" and not following the lemmings has to piss off SOOO many.

You come to Texas, Sir, and I'll stand you a drink or three.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Morning Madness

Well...this is one of those things which, when found, simply has to be noted. Even if it is with a googly shake of the head and deep drink of coffee.

Herein, a crafted teratoma as found here. They are obviously teched. Of course I want a bat shawl! Are you nuts? Who wouldn't?! And oh so many more things...

Also, too - my stepdaughter is making me nuts again. Same ol'. It is hard to be a hands-off parent of an adult. You want so much to shake sense into them - to point to stops on your road of life and say, "Look! This is what that decision did to me! Stop it already!" But their road is just that - Theirs. Still....gggrrrr....

The dog is making me crazy. Wants to go on a walk so badly and I've hardly had a cup of coffee. Trooper gets to sleep another couple hours so I'd might as well but damn it Bob - I sure miss those mornings where I had zero obligations.

The boobs are looking pretty good - settling into themselves, sorta. The underneathy cautery and stitched area are rough to the eye but the rest seems pretty good. I think the surgeon forgot a stitch when she took them out Friday so I'll have to get Trooper to do it - oh, he'll LOVE it. I'll be freaked out. I found a couple ancient unworn bras from two husbands ago. LOL They fit! They never fit back then being balcony types and really intended to just make a lot of cleavage. But now they are like baby bear's porridge. (And I think Trooper really liked them, too. LOL)

Alright, alright - we'll walk. Sheesh...all so that he can wander the pasture smelling deer and coyotes. Or whatever it is that beds down over there. All I know is it makes him happy. And it won't kill me, I suppose.

Teratoma. I love that word!!

Friday, October 03, 2008

A Feasting

I would say the Last Feast but it only feels that way following the cavalier manner in which the country - the Republic - was signed away with a whisper of ink on paper. He at least had the courtesy to appear blanched. A disgrace to the state, damn it. A sorrowful thing.

At any rate, it was the roast chicken feast tonight for Trooper and his trainee. The latter goes out on his own Sunday - and as the only one in the county. Welcome to the force! So, anyway, chicken - yes. And mashed taters with gravy and some peas that were ignored for the homemade yeast rolls with that softy butter just melting into them.

And of course a cobbler - blueberry. It didn't come out quite as I'd hoped but then I did a 1.5 recipe and those adjustments are always tricky. Also, I am a cobbler snob. I HATE the dry biscuit on top version. No, it has to have that crispy side bread stuff then the transition into the cooked bread but more and more soft with juices stuff. The berries needed just a bit more corn starch to seize them up but they weren't bad, all nice and still like their berry selves.

Of course, the men did it justice, little bones flying about and yeast rolls disappearing. How I love to watch a man eat a good meal...nothing gives me as much pleasure as that. It is why cooking equals love. Any woman who does not like to cook or refuses to learn simply cares more for herself than others. I am all about the decency of selfishness, don't get me wrong. But if you really love someone you should want to feed them. Och, I don't pretend to fit it into pretty words (we'll leave that to Brigid who does it so much better...). I just know what I mean.

Mommer taught me that, of course. How to work hard on a meal and watch it disappear in moments - hours of labor just gone. How she would smile behind her hand, finally sitting after standing at the stove half the day. I remember it well - especially Thanksgiving. Oh, she was in ecstacy. She'd pay for it after, her bones aching and her back crying out. But she would sit and steal glances around the table to ensure everyone had a bit of everything.

Photos? Oh, no - my kitchen is a horrendous mess and the plating haphazard. No, I will not show off the end result unless it is really worth the bragging (bouche de noel level of bragging). So you shall just have to trust me. Oh - and the best thing was having my lovely old House & Garden Bread Cook Book unpacked FINALLY. That yeast roll recipe is SO easy and always SO perfect. How I have missed it!!

So now I'll take my own slightly tired bones and achey back to a comfy chair and think about Mommer. I do miss her fiercely sometimes.

This is one of my favorite photos...we were on one of the very few vacations she ever had in her life. It was a paddlewheel boat in small town Florida. Maybe it was the wine cooler or just the peacefulness of the quiet ride. But she was so happy...after she died I had a dream about her. She was looking at me in the same angle but on a larger boat, her leg hooked over a railing as she was about to leap to the lower deck. I remember she had her same old Keds on and capri pants, the hem folded up a bit. And that same smile at me but with even it. That dream gave me - and still gives me - so much peace. She knew so much pain and misery in her life. I adore the thought of her scampering about in her own heaven, as fit as she can be with the bones of a teenager bearing her spirit.

You know what she used to tell us? Her favorite saying and one I use now and again. We'd say we'd want something or another and she'd just tell us to want in one hand and sh*t in the other and see which filled up faster. Perspective - that's what that gave us. Oh, yes, Mommer. I still giggle about that. I am so glad her pain is over. She's with Trooper's grandpa, we figure, and they're gardening up half of heaven with him telling her to keep her dang flower patch out of his corn fields.

It's a lovely dream, anyway...

Damn It...

I made Trooper and his pal some coffee to ease them into the first night of the evening shift. Sadly, it appears the mere scent of coffee is sufficient to keep me awake.

I have a doctor appt in the AM, stupid body.

C'mere, Sleepy Sleepy!!


Sheep. No, this is Texas. I shall count...armadillos...and the longer it takes me to fall asleep, the more I shall allow to be run over as they cross the road.

What? No, you never see the damned things anywhere else. I haven't the slightest idea what their natural habitat is.


There - that one is to get the rest of them in line.


Thursday, October 02, 2008

En Brochette, Verily

Speaking of BBQ...that would be me and you, folks.

Billy points to another post elsewhere in his post here and notes the following.
"I'm in. Right here, right now, for better or worse. I've always said so when
things turned to thoughts like this: I'm an American, goddammit, and I'm not
going anywhere."

Have you seen the monstrosity they are trying to foist on the public? Is it because they all know this might be the last feed at the trough? I am not a thru and thru anarchist but utter shit such as what is being plattered up for us now puts me on edge. How dare they?

I told Trooper last night that this was why all gov't must be local - you can find a lousy SOB in a state. But where to fire the volley federally? And all the muttering about martial law - I tell you this. The odds of them finding enough soldiers willing to put down a reasonably upset public are slim. The boots know the story and only a few of them are power hungry enough to do the bidding of thieves.

I watch it all distantly. Is this the tipping point? Is this the line in the sand which they have crossed, unwitting? I suspect as much as more and more actual data is put before the sheeple. Even they can see that the whole thing stinks. Sure, they want their piece of the pie but they sure can see that it'd be a whole lot bigger if not for the pork taking up room on the plate.

Little flutterings of concern in my belly...all the What If's flailing it possible we could be a Republic again over this? It'd be an interesting bit of history. And to imagine - living through it.

All the same, check ammo levels and get the last minute preparations done. This might all just end with whispered mutterings and a continued slide to ruin. Or, it might just get very, very loud.