Friday, January 30, 2009


If you're in the vicinity of Bloomington, don't miss these guys...

Another New Presale!Short and sweet: Great Big Sea will be at Bluebird Nightclub
in Bloomington, IN, on March 4. Starting tomorrow, January 30, at 10am EST,
the Store will be holding a presale for the show. You only
have until February 3 to get your tickets from us, so don't forget! The show
is general admission and 21+.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Within Constraints

It is - a bit - like this.

Hands reach between to express what is within...and what to put here, that meets with the criticism it might obtain - that might reach him? I'd hoped at the start of this to find a medium of expression only to then realize that identity was the issue - I don't put anything here that I wouldn't want posted in that office in town. Constraints, you see, on the muse.

I do consider another place, yes, wherein I could remove all those constructs of propriety. But the internet is forever, isn't it? And would I want that? At 65 or 75...would I want those words to yet live?

Ah, but that is the point, no? All those dusty pages in the safe, the night stand, the files...why keep them, otherwise?

I haven't visited those old friends in a long time. So many troubles there and so few bright days, I think it might only bring back that melancholy. In truth, I had very few pleasant times BT - Before Trooper. Oh, certainly there were some very lovely memories was too often bleak. And the pages reek of it.

Ah, and lo, now comes Ralph Vaughan Williams' Fantasia to serve me...those notes...those low and building notes first came to me when I was perhaps 24. It was my first apartment, across from the infamous Atlanta stripclub and flop house. I'd put up light pink mini-blinds and the 3rd floor apartment would glow with the sunset. It made one look amazing - which was a good thing as I was far too often...galavanting. I had naught else - no cable, no television at all, just a Walkman, a record player, and my books. All the books...

The same notes wended their way to the better apartment, the location of the photo there to the right. The music was a soundtrack for an incredible romance, doomed from its very birth, and yet sweet. And then...through a marriage and a betrayal - even there it lilted and rang. Sometimes quite loudly, and even through the terrible crash as the Waterford fell from drunken fingers, the wailing on knees at the loss, the treble loss.

Building again as the screen's light showed that final sentence, the period punched in, the code saved, the tale writ large though no one saw. Arching over as the metal taste came, crashing hard on the teeth...unforgiving and unforgivable the act that I put down with deliberate movement. Down, down and a reaching out in a night for an answer that no one had.

Constraints...even in all the cryptic litany I cannot be sure. Who knows me? Who knew me then? And would they care? Do the words even matter, now, aged as they are and without their original poison?

I've not scratched thoughts on those pages in a very long time, not having the need to detail my life minutely. Not there. And only slightly here...slightly...enough to keep these fingers nimble and my mind engaged. Ah, the words - the language - it has always ensnared me, really. Every trial and travail has come from them. And perhaps that is why I resist them, now, not wishing to bring to this life any of those past troubles.

It is a kind of muteness - a hacking off of a limb, a mental appendage - to write this way. But, just as the song has its crescendo and silence, so must the words, sometimes. And in that quiet, that echoing silence, peace can be found.

Turning Me

How appropo...

About to write this, what does my Finetune toss at me but Boadicea by Enya. Oh's a funny little universe...

See, now - there's this little troublemaker with green eyes and, by my thumbs, if I were called to the Other Side, I'd be hard pressed to not take her - er - with me. LOL

Look on this. Evil badness!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

All Better And Yet Not So Much

Well, my health is back - yay! But the world just keeps churning and the country just keeps floundering. The more I read and hear, the more disgusted I get. I've almost sworn off the news just to avoid thinking about it. But I's important as hell to be aware of all the worms turning.

Like this little number...the vastness of the numbers - and people just keep on keeping on...

Hey, I'm one of them. Sitting here, typing away, drinking my coffee and thinking about a workout in a few minutes. I'm not going to "call my representatives" - they do not give a damn about you or me. The only thing that might even put a dent in this massive theft of the Republic is if 2/3rds of them disappeared. Fear might change them. But nothing less.

Instead, I try to concentrate on taking care of me and mine. Ensuring we have what we need. That I'm in some sort of shape to deal with a crisis should it come. Hell, I'm thinking about moving my 401k dollars into silver and gold before the fuckers come and take that, too. It will happen, you know. They're running out of bribery funds for the seniors.

All I can think of are bullets...more often one hears of the constraints on that market. After all, I think we've enough guns for any occasion but...without ammo, they're expensive clubs, right? So...perhaps it's time to get serious on the supplies. And on a reload rig.

I wish I could hope for the best. But I really do think that's infantile. After all, look at this...
Civilian Expeditionary Workforce
Doesn't it make you think a bit about Obama's promised civilian force? Imagine the sheer drain on finances to pay them...interesting...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Pissed SOMEONE Off

Fair Warning. This post is essentially about being sick for a week. Not interested? I cannot blame you at all. I wasn't. Still ain't.

It is - what? - day 5 and I am STILL in travail. A horror, I tell you. A miserable horror that I can only imagine is marginally better than death.

Monday 11p: "Honey, I feel like crap..."
Monday 11:30p: Duodenum declines to receive any further immigrants.
Tuesday 12:45a: "Raalllppphhh! Uh...oh, no-no-nonono - wait!!..."
Tuesday 2:30a: Febral and thinking distantly that I should have cleaned the bathroom floor this past weekend.
Tuesday 3:34a "Thank God for a cold floor..."
Tuesday 5:00a "Raalllppphhh! Uh - oh, no-no-nonono - wait!!...Damn it!"

Well, I guess you get the point. This PLAGUE baffled me with its breadth and depth of disgusting putrifaction. If I feel even slightly unwell, a cup of mint tea and slow rubbing of the belly usually results in a restful sleep followed by an uncomfortable but brief toilette.

There was no bargaining with this. I paced back and forth, I prepared the area, getting the moist cloth and setting the extra mat nearby to cushion the position. All this I managed whilst still begging for it all to go away. I was trebly baffled by the speed of the assault. The fever, the sickness, the weakness...

Day after day, I waited for improvement. Wednesday was better but then came the...well...I sure could have used a gastro professional's advice. No matter how fast or often the gas was released it would just regenerate in my belly. And the noises! It was as though every inch of my innards was releasing something and digesting it. ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT. I could hardly eat for the pressure. It was a few spoons of hot cereal here, an egg and toast there over the course of the week.

Only today could I manage more than that, determined to beat this after being unable to get a doctor appointment. I woke Trooper far too early after a late shift, needing a breakfast to fight this beast. I would give it something to digest, damn it, no matter how full it felt. And all through the day, a few spoons here and there, which seems to have done well.

But then, tonight, the belching returned and I wonder at how its possible for a body to do this. Am I decomposing inside or something?! Outgassing like a fucking star going nova? I worry that now there really must be something wrong - something more than what I initially thought. Because food poisoning should have worn off by now...unless my innards are fouled beyond which case, the guest room will get a lot more use. Indeed, I used it a few nights as a tender mercy for Trooper.

Things had better start improving and soon. I can't imagine the lovely tests that will otherwise be necessary. Yeah...that's something to look forward lift up a prayer, slaughter a calf, whatever, y'all. But this has to end...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Scenes From Home

Just be glad blogs don't have Smell-o-vision. Because it's rank here. Perhaps my digestive system was merely reacting to the horrors taking place. Apt, to be sure...

Monday, January 19, 2009

It's Funnier In Person

I LOVE Chuck Lorre's Big Bang Theory show. LOVE.

And each one is followed by a "vanity card" wherein he gets to express himself. Tonight's episode offered the following - Chuck, forgive me for the pasting in. Does it help if I declare openly that you are a genius?

There's a funny moment in tonight's episode where Sheldon gets stuck on a rock-climbing wall and remarks, "What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?" I thought it'd be helpful to take a moment and examine that joke.

A linear asymptote is essentially a straight line to which a graphed curve moves closer and closer but does not reach. In other words, given a function y=fn(x) with asymptote A, A represents a number that, no matter how big (or, given the function, small) you make x, y will never make it to A. The particular example Sheldon quotes is the inverse Tangent function, or Arctangent, which has two asymptotes. If you graph it, it sort of looks like a horizontal S:

No matter how big you make x (that is, how far you move to the right), the function is never going to hit that top line (π/2), and no matter how small x gets (moving to the left), y is never going to be smaller than - π/2.

The more you know, the funnier it gets.

Sigh...I love that show...did I say that already?

P.S. I would have totally been a female Sheldon if it wasn't for negative influences and Sloe Gin...

Quick Hits

Bless ye olde Liberty Girl for this linkage - Internet Movie Firearms Database. WOOT!!, how's about a little plague today? (HT to LG for linkage...) Way to go, sneaky ninjas...

Interesting comment on Malkins' many ways I concur. Particularly in the "Name your price to leave me the fuck alone, forever..." motif.

Next on the shopping list...CombatK9. Fuck yeah. Hey - he carries his own food and water already. He can heft some ammo, too, right?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Oh, Say Can You See

What that little tyrant's sycophants have done?

The level of my disgust cannot be measured.

There is - and I know you know - a U.S. Flag Code. It clearly states, "The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature. "

But I don't expect those morons to respect any sort of code.

Soldier Laureate

Oh, just go and read. Yet another of his really tremendous pieces.

I know exactly what he means, too, about being a Watcher. It makes one...alone. But rarely lonely.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

A Day In History

Tamara reminds us...which reminded me...
I haven't fit into this jacket since that war but I keep it. Yes, I even denied the pleadings of my then-young stepdaughter to wear it. It's perfectly broken in and has the appropriate "Fuck Off and Die" button perched on a pocket flap. Yes, it was once me, entirely.
I got this patch to commemorate the "Line of Death" also called the Gulf of Sidra Incident. I understand there were two such incidents and I believe the patch related to 1981 - seems about right. But my memories of the `80's are - er - dim. Ahem.

I may have been my brother that sent it, in the Navy and stationed in Miramar. Oh, I had that Topgun fever just like everyone else. And it was near that timeframe that I made a desperate call to the Air Force, wanting something better in my life than what I had.

Their quiet, polite advice aided me not at all in the moment. But the made me wonder about all that was around me. Madness, really, to stay...I reached out for a fool and took a different path. It wasn't necessarily cleaner but it was sane. And safe.

When I pull that jacket from the closet I think back to that day when I made a call and someone gave me a glimpse of something else. And I often wonder where I'd be now if I'd only taken their advice. There is something about an aircraft that I cannot...not love. Even walking around Camp Mabry, able to caress a wing, touch a rotor blade, smell that metal in the hot Texas sun...oh, I wish I knew why it pleases me so. The reason for my affinity...

I take some comfort in knowing that the answer will be given me one day. When I'll need no wings to soar...

Friday, January 16, 2009


Wonder why this made me think of Brigid?

Courtesy of this guy. Tho it looks like the work of this guy...

Energy Management, Indeed

So do you suppose the simulators will all have a "Sullenberger" scenario loaded soon?

Hot damn...what an amazing moment in a life...

And yes, he's not the only one on that flight to applaud but, frankly, if he hadn't put it down that way, no one else would have had a chance to be heroic.

Mad skills...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

How She Does It

...I have no idea. But look:
"Icy water and warm lips, we thirst, we reach with that last translucent breath, closing our eyes to softly bite the secret barb."

Damn it.

If I had a left nut, I'd give it to acquire that sort of language. Just amazing...

Monday, January 12, 2009


I don't know that I ever mention this gal tho I visit her place once a week or so. I really do like her posts - though you know me and my inglorious nethers: kids are for others to use as weapons against me. She is Enough - perhaps one day they will get to that point. Until then? Hey, keep trying - sure doesn't hurt. Or, if it does, you're not doing it right. Or maybe it's just Saturday night and that's your thing.


Okay. Was that too much?

Anywhiskers, I read this and wiped away a tear. Darling, darling heart just flopped around in abject surrender. A thousand good karma wishes sent...

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Because You Knew It'd Happen

I had to dispense with the sweetness and light sometime, right?

I say that the culture war is essentially lost now, Perry.
What's left is annotation.Posted by Billy Beck at January 7, 2009 01:44 PM

Now, isn't that a succinct way to put it? And I am afraid that I agree. All of this - all these words, polls, opinions and court cases are, in the end, meaningless against what is being brought to bear. unassailable in general ways. But there is, as he has often noted, an alternative.

One must stop feeding the monster.

But with that comes great risk - and one that I admittedly refuse to take. Now.

Ask me again in a year or so...

My Word - ALL Boys At Heart

I read this and cackled. I tell you - just get a couple of guys together and it all reverts to childhood.

And, of course, reminded me of my own Chicago yoot, skitchin' behind the cars now and then.

Fools, we were.

Long Days and Shopping Ways

In these short winter days it's particularly nice to be out in the light and the wind. I've been enjoying Trooper's long weekend, taking time off of work to allow us long hours together. We spent much time - and too much money - at the REI sale. We've made gear a priority in our lives and found some very good deals. While we are just as happy getting things from inexpensive sources, they happen to have an amazing sale just now and I highly recommend a visit to a store or their site.

One interesting and inexpensive item was this stick light. Compact, it offers a clear white, a red, orange or other colored light, and a colored flashing light as well as a whistle all in one compact package. A few of those went in each of our go bags. We also found very inexpensive and small med kits, and acquired a new backpack for under $15 to hold Trooper's go-bag items, replacing the range bag that was just too small.

And then I found this jacket on sale for 1/3rd the cost and snatched it up. Also tucked into my kit was this matching vest. Slimming as hell, and very toasty, it was also a third of its normal price. I have a very fancy Columbia jacket set from ages ago but it demanded I buy a mens size to fit the puppies and so it's a rather overlarge fit. The above is entirely different, showing curves, with no bulky sleeves dangling. Just an amazing match at a very reasonable cost.

Allow me to note that we detest the other shop full of in-town yuppy scum and rude help - hie thee to the Round Rock store. FAR more friendly personnel, aisles arranged to permit easy shopping, and just an all-around superbly pleasant experience. There is Ikea nearby to tempt you with Scandehoovian swag, also.

Today, I think we'll take Ranger to the park and do some additional search and rescue play. He's learning so quickly - after just a couple attempts he has understood the "game". And he loves it - when he finds one of us, you can just see the pleasure in his full body wagging.

And the diet? Heh...well, I'll admit to giving up on the Splenda in the coffee routine. It was giving me headaches (since everything else had Splenda in it, also) so I just went back to my raw sugar but use perhaps half as much. This weekend, we allowed ourselves to splurge on baked potatoes, divine Mexican food, and wee cups of beloved Bluebell Ice Cream. Today, we're back on track. And happier for having a day of pleasure.

Hours and hours's been quite nice. And a bit of downtime that we needed so much. And? Looks like next month might bring about that bit of snowtime that I've been aching for. I better get my ass in better shape. The altitude will kill me, otherwise.

It's a good life, you know...for all the dark days coming and troubles they may bring...there are bright moments enow...

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Choice Vids

Damn that Mistress of Slack! I am SUPPOSED to be in bed, catching up on lost sleep. Noooo...she had to link over to crazy-ass SNOTR. So, before I toddle off...

Made Of WIN

The Office War (so many great mockery moments but I love the styro-guts and laserjet stand as barrier)

And, just to add some light and sweetness to the pit o' despair that this place has become...

Now, everybody be quiet so I can sleep. Yes, this means you frackin' Aussies, too!

Personal Soundtrack

I saw this item on Thinkgeek and it was definitely intriguing. While I might not be geek enough for it, I did wonder what I might load on it.

Maybe this one...
This one might be nice in the morning...
Useful for matrimonial discussions.
One of my FAVORITES - Must...Not...Make...Ringtone...
Better for an alarm clock, maybe...
Oh, can bet this one would come in handy.
DEFINITELY this one for those long meetings.
Alabama courting rituals? *snicker*
In case one indulges...
Mmm hmmm. I've needed this one in the past.
Every office needs this...
And the office tomorrow may need this.
I'll have to save this for a few years...
And because mommer's gone, maybe this to taunt myself with on bad days.
Um - I have one of these in my office...
And you may not need it often but...when you do...
This one? Indeed...
But let us hope this one is never needed...
Just sayin' - I think I need to keep this one in my back pocket.
Over & Out

Friday, January 02, 2009


Just a few things I need to say this evening.

If I don't get back on a proper sleep schedule I am going to be fucked next week.
I don't give a damn if you don't want to hear about my Atkins diet.
I'd slap my mommer - twice - for a french fry right now.
The dog is a spoiled brat who should know I am the boss. Dammit.
If I don't get to tromp in some snow soon I am gonna have a fit.
The cat snores too loud and would make a good stew.
And mittens.
One of my sisters is now, seemingly, a loon.
The former loon sister is quite pleasant. Huh.
I suck at familial communication. I love you. I just never call. Even you, loon.
Why is it so damned hard to find a basic nice slip and generic underwear?!
This whole sinus infection crap is pissing me off. I'm about to make some penicillin on old bread and shove it up there on a q-tip.

OK. I think I've about covered my concerns for this evening.
Angst and ridicule brought to you by the Lack O' Carbs and Acme 72 Hour Pounding Headache.


Thank you.