Friday, January 02, 2009


Just a few things I need to say this evening.

If I don't get back on a proper sleep schedule I am going to be fucked next week.
I don't give a damn if you don't want to hear about my Atkins diet.
I'd slap my mommer - twice - for a french fry right now.
The dog is a spoiled brat who should know I am the boss. Dammit.
If I don't get to tromp in some snow soon I am gonna have a fit.
The cat snores too loud and would make a good stew.
And mittens.
One of my sisters is now, seemingly, a loon.
The former loon sister is quite pleasant. Huh.
I suck at familial communication. I love you. I just never call. Even you, loon.
Why is it so damned hard to find a basic nice slip and generic underwear?!
This whole sinus infection crap is pissing me off. I'm about to make some penicillin on old bread and shove it up there on a q-tip.

OK. I think I've about covered my concerns for this evening.
Angst and ridicule brought to you by the Lack O' Carbs and Acme 72 Hour Pounding Headache.


Thank you.


Joan of Argghh! said...

Well, alrighty then.

*backing out the door, quietly*


D.W. said...

I tried the atkins diet...twice! I'm a serious carnivore, so I thought it'd be a breeze. I lasted two days the first time, and only a single day the second. You see, I can't live without a bagle or toast in the morning, and sugar in my coffee, so by the second day I'd happily kill for a bagel.

I wish you luck with your diet. Just remove all the firearms and sharp objects from the home and you might make it :-) .

*runs away, just in case*

LauraB said...

Remove firearms? Hell, I think it's time to go to the range and post up a giant french fry photo.

Or a baked potato.

Or a steaming dish of PASTA.

No - no, Brigid's new bread pudding post - THAT'S it. Yes.

LOL Seriously, this crap is HARD to deal with. Who knew?

Brigid said...

I didn't know you were doing Atkins when I posted that. Crap. Sorry. Could have posted the rosemary/garlic infused roast that's going in the oven for later.

I tried Atkins, and I was about ready to take hostages at a Dunkin Donuts by day three.

I could lose 20 pounds but every time I even mention diet, men start buying me chocolate and french bread because apparently some people prefer me curvy.

Who knew.

LauraB said...

If only it were a "20" I had to deal with I wouldn't even have a worry about it. Sadly, it's about thrice that much.

As for the roast...I'll take it over the - yay - fish tonight. PFFT.

I didn't know how much sugar I ate until I couldn't...

Anonymous said...

I did atikns long enough to lose nearly 20 pounds. I've since gained that back plus more. But, I no longer cry in the grocery store or during a meal with someone not eating atkins.

I loved your rant and laughed outloud several times. The part about the cat making a good stew ... and mittens was my fav. I love my cats but, seriously, sometimes I need some space!!

folly said...

I used a similar diet once called the Anabolic Diet to gain 30 lbs in three months. Of course when you eat over 4500 calories a day in a 60% fat, 35% protein, 5% carb diet, that is to be expected. My body weight went up wonderfully and all of my lifts increased. Of course, I was hardcore powerlifting at the time, so up was the point.

The neat thing about it is that I had pretty much no carbs except for one full carb day (generally Saturday). Oh GOD the carb day. I'd put on 5 lbs that day and my squat was through the roof on Sunday.

You can lose weight on it as well, but that's not near as much fun. And yes, after several days of no carbs, I tended to get rather...testy. Sometimes testy enough to punch kittens.

At any rate, I hope you get to feeling better. I know that this kind of diet is frustrating and when you're sick, it just compounds.

LauraB said...

Thanks you guys...It's up and down for me on this thing. Right now, I am dying to just stroll into that kitchen and have a piece of toast with jelly.

But then I think about a week already done and to ruin it now would be silly...

If I can get through next week, I might be okay. Frankly, I lost a lot of weight before eating relatively normally (wheat bread, tortillas, pasta, tons of veggies, etc.) and just working out at a realistic and normal level. It was NOT this hard.

And trooper has kindly offered to stay on it without me but I think that would be cruel. So...a bit more torment...

But I am seriously hungry.

folly said...

Glad you're making it through. I'll tell you, the first couple of weeks are really the tough ones. Once you adapt to the new way of eating, it will get much easier.

Are you doing any sort of one day or meal cheat?