Sunday, March 01, 2009

Dreams


It is nearly the only thing I ever wanted - outside of flight and the stars. I was always a very romanticly inclined child, even if it was tinged with rather a lot of darkness and doubt.
A garden, a cup of tea, cotton lawn garments, and a book...Helen Allingham's rendition is quite like it. Once I had something quite like it, a garden and a swing, a pond and a pool...and lost it all. All that work and the lovely, lovely flowers...
When I was alone there in that year of quiet repose I would often allow myself to go out in the early morning, the fine gowns and robes dragging in the dew. It was a sort of separate world I lived in, far from the workaday life I'd known since I was 16.
It was a dreamworld wherein I held to no schedule but that of my need for sleep, and sunlight. My cares were relatively few even though I knew, clearly, that I was spending everything I had. Everything I had, and all I knew would be the price for that interlude.
It was a necessary break from reality. And it has held me up all this time. Vacations put off, down-time hardly known since...that year surrounds me in its quiet season. I long for it, that stillness of mind and spirit. And, if it cannot be had, perhaps just that small piece of it- that garden...a swing...a place to watch the sun rise. How many are left, after all? A generous count allows perhaps 14,000*. I need to remember that, in all my worries.
There is a smaller life, a simpler life possible. If I'm willing to let more things go...


*Thanks to Joannie who questioned my math.

3 comments:

Joan of Argghh! said...

Only 1500?

???

LauraB said...

Och...guess who was under the bleachers during math class...LOL

Thx for drawing my attn to that!

Joan of Argghh! said...

Whew! You had me ascared there for a minute. LOL!

*mwuah*

Glad to know you're sticking around.

:o)

WV has gone Brit-slang, and not in a good way: minging