Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Imperfect Vision

There is a line in Out of Africa that says, "Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road. " I have felt that sense of life these last 4 months.

So much going on, so many concerns...and now, I noticed that Ranger has some sort of eye condition that looks too damned much like the beginnings of Pannus. So...now I have to move more quickly on the Doggles acquisition (UV light seems to hasten progress of disease) because there is no way he will only go out at night. I've already been trying to limit his playtime though he doesn't understand.

Trooper does not want to consider it, not having it in him to add that burden just now. I cannot blame him at all. We each have our "blind spots" these days to avoid seeing what we cannot fix. I fret over so much and there is so little I can do about it. I try to just concentrate on what I can do but it seems a pitiful little...

I try to remind myself that many people are dealing with much worse. But the stoic side of me just wants to admit it all is just as it appears: falling apart, flying apart like cogs from a broken machine. I feel as though I'm just dodging schrapnel. But I suppose that's something.


The Six said...

I'm with you in spirit Laura.
My 14 year old Lab, Trooper, has a condition very like Pannus. We've had the cornea shaving done and he's on Prednisone and Neomycin and Polymyxin B Sulfates and Dexamethasone Opthalmic Suspension USP eye drops. He's mostly blind now but it's allowed him to keep some of his eyesight.
Even with his severely reduced vision he's doing pretty well. He went through something very like depression at first but he's since reverted to his normal, happy Lab self. He gets around with few problems though we do keep lights on throughout the house at night so he can get to the dog door and outside in the middle of the night. He gets lost in the house from time to time but he seems to take it in stride. We've learned not to move any furniture or leave anything out in his normal travel paths. We manage. I've cried more than a few times, mostly because I recognize we're almost certainly in the final year of his life. He's not the dog he was, but then, who of us is?
Whatever Ranger's long term prognosis, you, Trooper and he will find a way to cope. It cannot be fixed but it can be endured.
I'm gonna go and give some love to my Trooper now. Together we'll send out a prayer to you, Trooper and Ranger. Please let me know if you need any information on our treatment.

LauraB said...

Thank you so much for this...
We have to get a diagnosis to ensure where we stand and then determine next actions. What I've read indicates not much can be done. Perhaps drops but...I am uncertain about how many meds he could/should deal with.

If I think too much about it I just weep. And Trooper...not sure he's up for bad news. He loves that damn dog...