Friday, April 30, 2010
ANYTHING that gets people to consider his language as it stands on its own - that gets people to think about what he says instead of merely reacting to his sometimes harsh tone - is, I think, a blessing to this country.
However, I do worry that the attention might bring a harsh eye to him. Not that he isn't prepared for it - ready for the bars and orange jumpsuit if forced to it - but I just wish he would write a damned book already. It's time, Billy. It's about damned time to get to it, Sir.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My God - do you see now why voting will never work? They do not NEED you and your stinkin' approval slip. They will do precisely as they like.
My only involvement in this utter decapitation of a nation? Tell me how we rid ourselves of the monster. Whither Impeachment, Texas?
"The impeachment process may be triggered by non-members. For example...a charge of what actions constitute grounds for impeachment may come from...a state or territorial legislature,"
Heaven help us, I think it is already too late.
I've always supported the fairly elite level in the company, dealing with the C suite and their direct reports. Having my access to that "sanctum sanctorum" renounced has been a difficult burden to bear. However, it seems that I am to be further acquainted with the virtue known as Humility.
I shall be asked to serve someone who reports to my now-enemy. It wouldn't hurt as much if I wouldn't be in contact with some of those same people - the questions will naturally arise...I tell myself that it only makes him look bad as I can honestly indicate that it was an unexpected turn of events.
But that virtue...it was comforting to read those words.
...The courage of the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved.
...Refraining from despair and the ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation.
Courage of the heart - isn't that a nice turn of phrase? Confronting fear and uncertainty - how I hate to do that. Well, not in the drastic and important things but the daily grinding kind of things. If there is danger, I am all business and moving out. But these kinds of office politics conflicts? How I despise them.
It is time to learn to rise above these things. I told Trooper - I need to look at it as "how many guns/bullets/pretty underthings (priorities - I gots them) will this week's tolerance get me?" In that way I can better balance that disappointment against reality.
However, I still hope his transmission blows up on 285 at rush hour. What can I say? I need some work on the virtue of Kindness.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Her note and photo here made me laugh as JUST TODAY I had a similar situation...
We'd been taking care of business (spending triple digits at the pet store) and I wanted a latte somethin' fierce. "My name is Laura and I have a coffee addiction." So...Trooper waits in the truck for his Americano as Ranger goes on alert. "She's going in alone, man. You should go with her, you bastard. Look, open the door and I'll go. Fuck. FUCK! I can't SEE HER! I am not MOVING until I see her again. You bastard."
Inside, I pit, taking great pleasure in setting the 1911 on the counter and giving SBUX a little dance o' love. At the counter, I put in the order as Mr. No Respecter Of Personal Space stands right on my heel. I rest my hand on the 1911, casually, and that elbow carves enough for him to get the point. Briefly.
I take my time ordering the snackage just because I know he's having a Moment. I can almost smell the estrogen coming out of his pores. Then, as I stand against the wall, waiting for my order, he places his "half caff ball-less soy frangipani light" order. Yeah - soy. No wonder your wrist is in a brace. And then I see his trio of "crotchfruit" at the table, acting like they're oh-so-grown-up with their sippy straw milks. Yeah...soy.
There are times when I truly get a laugh out of this life. Sometimes you just have to wonder why these things are set before you - as though God says, "She Gets me, dude. You know?"
Go ahead - join the fun at the SBUX Spoiled Brats and Soy Castrations site. Clean fun.
It reminds me, too, of my youth that knew those tides, knew where the moon would rise. Magic of driftwood and shell, and arcade jewelry bringing steps in the sand, and a curve to my lips at that first taste of that craft - the conjuring of man, no - boy - and love, a kind of love. Ages gone but the sound of the waves brings it all back.
But then there was wind in the still new greenery of the pastures we drove by today and it was like ripples on shallow water. And I looked at him, knowing that the smiles he brings me even in my troubled mind...that it is a gift I do not appreciate enough, having forgotten just how little I used to smile. Yeah, he's pretty much like this - with one hell of a better casting technique, thanks. I often do not deserve him.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I do sometimes get tired of the "faithful" behaving like utter shits all week and then saints for a day. It is tiresome, too, that I have to keep working for him and being polite while he is quietly stabbing me in the back. Well, not that quietly since it took nothing to find out. Just not from him nor the person he is collaborating with.
So...time for me to scramble for either another role internally or to find something externally. And it angers me beyond belief. Nearly 7 years with this guy and this is what I get? Well, it does remind me that, when it comes to work, no one cares about you as much as you think. I'd learned that lesson long ago but had forgotten that sudden sharp pain of betrayal and deceit.
And how to hold my anger back and not send the well-written Fuck You email? Or the "thanks for being a dick on Administrative Professionals Day " message. I refuse to do it simply because it isn't professional but...it is extremely difficult. I understand that business demands some less than savory actions now and then. But this was simply not necessary. Being upfront and honest about the matter would have at least been...reasonable.
Shit - it doesn't really matter, does it? All this back and forthing. It WILL happen and the repercussions are what I need to deal with. Still, it hurts the ego...and we've company tonight so I have to smile and make nice...
Where did I leave that voodoo doll? I think it needs a new nametag.
Monday, April 19, 2010
I was reminded of those days just now - I was cleaning out links and came to this one. Can hardly recall why I had it because it wasn't a warrior link at the time it was fav'd. It is now. I loved this peek at his life. "Beats filling sandbags", indeed.
Give it a look - he writes very well, illustrating the work in a way that gives an immediacy to it - putting you there, really. Definitely won't be a languishing link anymore.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
An item, barely worn though, externally, you can't tell. A 7.5 pair of Hi-tec's that were used in a brief camp building project. Thus, hardly used but spattered with paint, red Georgia clay dust and a superficial tear in a toe from a close call with a knife. Still, quite useful and comfy for anyone who needs some knockabout footwear. Let me know if you are interested and I'll send them out.
Trooper asked yesterday about taking the library apart, removing books not needed and taking them to the used book store (where one hardly gets anything for them, frankly). At first the words had the sound of a buzzsaw. Get rid of books? One simply doesn't. But then I figured that the local library might use them and perhaps there are a few I could live without.
But it comes, again, to that halting point - I'd given up so very much when I gave up that marriage...half of those books, returned to him. Half the music, the better furniture...years of my life just...gone. And yet those things were packed carefully, shipped expensively, and without any of the cruel bitterness one sees far too often these days in failed marriages. And now, again, the surrender of my things. At least this request was not bookended, so to speak, with sorrow. More, a request to lighten the load that may have to be carried elsewhere.
How large a cabin might it take to hold all the things I treasure? And what treasure would I be willing to sacrifice if demanded? A second look at the spines and an acceptance that, yes, there are ones I could part with...
And then my hand falls to the leather sheathed journal, the photos inside of that glade wherein I wish the cabin existed now. How quickly could I divest myself of Things if it was existed? Drawings, dreams all contained therein. I walked that glade yesterday, imagining its shape and shawdow. But the dusk was coming, bringing rain, and we had to return to town.
No matter now much I want to return to that grassy haven, there are duties here...a guest room to prepare against visitors next week. Will the old friend stir in him, further, that desire for other pastures? Already he chafes at the work, the people. Not what he thought, not what he wanted...but options exist if he can be patient. Time for him to do his duty and watch for those options to ripen.
A few months...autumn, I think to myself. In the fall, my favorite season, anything might happen.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Look at Behenna. In WWII that would have demanded a pat on the back, a smoke, and a "damned fool" muttered at the dead man. It is madness. It baffles me that anything gets done at all - meals served, ammunition moved...
I just hope the Mossad gives us a nod in time to leave before they take care of business. Just as they always have, in the way it must be done.
"I don’t give a good fuck if these people bugger their skinny children, behead and beat their women or sodomize their goats three ways to Allah. I just don’t give a care, especially when I contrast their expensive policy needs against a flag draped American casket being lowered into the ground."
Fuckin' A, m'dear.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Each year I like to note this as he is my...touchstone for all that the war has been.
Fabrizio Quattrocchi, Italian Hero, May 9, 1968-April 14, 2004
An archaic type of man who, in his last moments, did what I think we all hope we could do. For me, his blood in that sand flowers over and over. Forever.
"The Way of the Samurai is one of immediacy, and it is best to dash in headlong."- Yamamoto Tsunetomo
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So much going on, so many concerns...and now, I noticed that Ranger has some sort of eye condition that looks too damned much like the beginnings of Pannus. So...now I have to move more quickly on the Doggles acquisition (UV light seems to hasten progress of disease) because there is no way he will only go out at night. I've already been trying to limit his playtime though he doesn't understand.
Trooper does not want to consider it, not having it in him to add that burden just now. I cannot blame him at all. We each have our "blind spots" these days to avoid seeing what we cannot fix. I fret over so much and there is so little I can do about it. I try to just concentrate on what I can do but it seems a pitiful little...
I try to remind myself that many people are dealing with much worse. But the stoic side of me just wants to admit it all is just as it appears: falling apart, flying apart like cogs from a broken machine. I feel as though I'm just dodging schrapnel. But I suppose that's something.
Friday, April 09, 2010
Going south? That's one way to put it. Here is a terrific review of their smashing win of the Bataan Memorial Death March .
Makes me think next year's march might make for a nice fitness goal...hmmm.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
So what might you think would terrify an already nervous dental client more? The 2nd step of the root canal process or your light shield and glass falling on their mouth?
There I was minding my own business as he finalized the temporary crown fitting when the assistant reaches for the light fixture only to have the sanitary shield AND the glass shade drop straight down on my face! We were all struck still and silent for a moment - I reached up carefully to ensure the tooth (front and center, of course) was still there. The lip was already swelling since it took most of the blow.
After that, we all took a deep breath and he looked at the lip and the tooth to ensure there were no drastic issues. Then we finished what we were all there for. I was almost more amused at how terrified they were - "okay, everyone - shake it off!", I told them to ease the tension.
Later, another look, an ice pack, and deep apologies followed by a gratis future cosmetic service rendered me calm and satisfied. After all, I don't want him to have any sort of mark on his name. I trust him to take care of any issues that arise from it. And their obvious concern and fear was enough to tell me they weren't going to try and run from their responsibility.
But I am still a little shakey from it all, I have to admit. It was a shock to the system, after all. I have treated myself, though, to some Starbucks snackage. All will be well soon enough.
Even if I do look like I was in a fight. Heh...take THAT you vanilla scone mofo! Kah-chow!
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Sunday, April 04, 2010
1911 Smith & Alexander Mag Guide
...the manufacturer of this arched mainspring housing/magazine well states:
- The Original "S&A Mag Guide"® is the only one piece patented mag guide on the market place (Patent #4,570,370).
- It is one of the most practical and usually the first custom part one installs on their 1911 pistol. It can be installed with ease in minutes with no frame modifications. The "S&A Mag Guide"® increases the magazine opening over 100%.
- Once installed on the frame it fits solid. No welding required. Adds 1/4" to grip for extra leverage and recoil control. 20 LPI checkering for the maximum grip retention.
- Government model will fit all full size 1911 frames including Commander, Delta Elite, Double Eagle, Auto Ordanance, Kimber & Springfield.
Not sure how I like the grips yet, having not fired it with them. But they DO match the finish nicely, no? Trooper got some "gator grips" that I liked VERY much but the gentlemen tell me that they may feel fine in the hand but under use they might be a bit more aggressive than I'd like. We'll have to try them both...
The last few days were spent in service to another, cutting down some trees at the ranch of a friend of a friend. Her son was lost not long ago in Afghanistan and her husband already gone so we were pleased and proud to do what we could. It is a lovely place - essentially precisely the kind of land and home we've dreamed of. So we were held in a kind of respectful tranquility as the work was done...hard to explain but there was definitely a sense of "welcome".
And today, after a quick clean-up and a super-fast Emergency Chocolate Cake was baked, we went to dinner at friend's - he is due to head out "for unknown regions" in the state for a month so it was good of them to host us in their very limited time together. A generous offer, indeed.
Home, chores put off and getting finished, I am finally able to relax with a glass of wine and a very quick pass at the blogs...
It is a difficult time right now - a lot of people we know are dealing with troubles, dangerous procedures, and challenges...I've my own just now that are making my temper short. And this is unusual...I am rarely so touchy. But heightened stress acts on my nerves, making me impatient with people who are troubling me with trifles - AKA The Office BS. There is so much more going on and none of it can I reveal to those triflers. And the cycle turns, making me angry because I am being bitchy and can't explain to you why. I have no idea how the secret squirrel types manage it. Even Trooper has lost his renowned Duck's Back manner of dealing with things.
We must return our minds to a more quiet state. This service for others - it helps. It most certainly helps. It is my self-centered navel gazing that cycles the stress. Time to raise my eyes and look a bit outward for perspective. It could be so much worse...
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Dearest, darling, maddeningly sharp Joan...
You made it - I told you it'd work out. Even if it was a hard year you did come out on top, right?
Enjoy the day - and many many more such celebrations!
(I didn't see the Tequila Donation button - did I miss it?!)